My Mom, Update

Most of you know that my mom passed away on May 11th.  I just wanted to update the blog.  I've also been working on something to say about my mom.  Nothing quite captures what I'm feeling, so I thought I'd make it more about her.  :)

Things I wish I could've said at my mom's funeral:

My mom was beautiful and smart, and she thought she was neither.
My mom loved animals, especially her dogs.  She never turned away a stray.
She always wanted to help sea turtles hatch and get to the ocean.
My mom was deathly afraid of bees.
My mom loved Florida State football and would yell at the TV over it.
My mom's purse always matched her shoes.  She once bought a multi-colored purse, so she wouldn't have to change it all of the time.  She hated it.
My mom loved word games, crossword puzzles, Wheel of Fortune and computer Mahjong.
She hated math.
She loved the beach and storms.
She would cry when she saw an ambulance or a car accident, because she knew someone was hurt.
She loved her children deeply, and we always knew it.
She was very affectionate.  We never lacked hugs and kisses.

When she was in her last days, she asked me, "Can you imagine going through this together if we hated each other?".  No, Mama, I couldn't imagine it at all.

As she was there when I came into this life, I had the difficult honor of being with her as she left.  I'd do anything to have her back.  I still can't believe she's gone.


On a dialysis note, I know my mom would've been mad at me for skipping two treatments during the time around her funeral.  I've skipped one before, but never two.  It's amazing how quickly I began to feel like crap physically, on top of all of the emotional hurt.  While it's inconvenient to go to dialysis at times like this, it's not the best idea to skip.  This is a do as I say, not as I do, message.