Thursday, November 29, 2012

Hello, Again

I'll acknowledge the fact that I haven't written anything in forever and move on.  It's been difficult to write since my dad died.  The events of my life seem insignificant in comparison.  I think I'm finally to the point, though, where I need to write again.  It helps me get outside of my head and vent some of my feelings.

Actual dialysis has been going pretty well.  It's become pretty routine.  I had a few rough weeks a while back when my dry weight was shifting, and I was getting pretty lightheaded after treatments.  I fell down at home a few times.  I even passed out in the bathtub one night.  (I don't recommend that, btw.)  But things are back to "normal".  My dry weight is the lowest it has been since I started dialysis.  I'm trying to lose some weight, and it's beginning to happen, although slowly.  And, I haven't had a dizzy spell in a while.

My fistula has been doing well, and it's starting to look bumpy.  As it has matured, it has gotten uglier.  It's doing well technically, but it has become more obvious.  I don't think about it a lot of the time, but sometimes I get self-conscious, especially when someone asks me what's wrong with my arm.  :)  Yay, for cooler weather and longer sleeves!

The other day, I looked around while I was at treatment, and I was sharing my section with three 70-80-something year old men.  It was pretty depressing.  It made me feel old and sick.  I typically don't think of myself in either of those terms.

I've had a good thing happen recently, though.  I have been able to add some high-potassium foods back into my diet.  My potassium was getting too low.  It's typically too high in kidney patients, and mine has been before.  Well, between the dialysis cleaning my blood and my limitations, I was too low, which is just as bad as too high.  Welcome back, potatoes and tomatoes!  Hello, orange juice!  I love you, avocado.  I can't go crazy, but I can enjoy them more than I've been used to.

Well, that's all folks . . . I'll try to check back in more regularly.


  1. I appreciate your blog. I stumbled upon you by googling "I hate my fistula". I laughed and cried reading your posts. I was diagnosed in May with ESRD and went on dialysis in June. The first time I walked into the dialysis center I brought the average down to 75 (I'm a 45 year old female so I really relate to your thoughts about being surrounded by old sick men).

    1. Hi, Nikki!
      I'm so glad you found the blog and so glad you commented! You're not alone. I'm 42, so we're in the same boat. I still hate my fistula, too. I guess it's a love/hate relationship. :) One of the worst parts is when my arm goes to sleep while I'm asleep because I laid on it, and it wakes me up. I'll continue to write, and hope you continue to read!

  2. I hope you keep writing cuz it makes me feel like I'm not the only one who is going through this.

    P.S. I am also very glad it's long sleeve weather cuz I still hate my fistula!!