Dialysis didn't go so well today. The first stick didn't work quite right, so I had to be stuck three times today. It took a long time, was very uncomfortable, and of course, I started crying. I think I'm still really nervous every time I go, and when something doesn't go right, it comes out in tears. It's not something I can control right now. My arm ached the entire time I was hooked up, too. One of the girls brought me a rubber glove full of hot water to hold onto, which helped some. Even though I'm not taking my blood pressure meds in the morning before dialysis, my blood pressure dropped really low again today. I got queasy, but didn't vomit. Yay! I took a four hour nap this afternoon to recover. I'm so glad I have two days off.
My mom still goes with me to dialysis. She visits with me some in the back, but spends a lot of time in the lobby. She's getting to know a lot of the families and some of the patients who are on the second shift. Through her encounters I am again reminded of how fortunate I am to be in as good of condition as I am. So many people have other major problems they are dealing with -- diabetes (and associated amputations), heart failure, Alzheimer's, etc. One guy who is younger than I am has already overcome Hodgkin's Disease. The chemo damaged his kidneys.
I'm also fortunate to have transportation and a mom who goes with me even though I could probably go on my own. Some people sit up there hours before their time to go on the machine, because they rely on the local medical transportation service. So when I complain of my long day, I remind myself of the folks who have a much longer and lonelier day. My mom is good for me, but I also think she's good for the people who don't have anyone else. She gets sodas for them out of the machine. She picks up stuff when they drop it. She simply talks to them, and I think makes the world a little better for them. I know she makes it better for me.
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