Needles!

Today, I saw one of the needles.  I didn't mean to.  I had been purposely avoiding it.  The nice nurse was talking to me, and I looked her way as she was taking it out of its wrapper.  I knew they were big just by the way they felt going into my arm and by the hole marks they leave behind, but wow!  It was huge!  I wish I hadn't seen it.  I can't get the image out of my head.  [It wasn't as big around as a coffee stirrer, but close.]  At the same time, though, I thought, "Damn.  I'm pretty tough."  I've been getting those huge needles jammed in my arm without any Lidocaine, which some people use to numb the arm first.  I wasn't given the option the first two times, so I didn't know what I was missing.  I was told, however, that getting Lidocaine every time isn't a good thing for the fistula, so I will continue to suck it up.  I will do everything I can to protect this fistula.  It suffers enough getting huge needles stuck in it three days a week.

Speaking of needles . . . I also received my flu shot today.  I had the pneumonia vaccine and a Procrit shot in the hospital.  I used to cringe at those type of injections.  They're nothing now.  :)  I'm getting to be a tough cookie!