Today, I saw one of the needles. I didn't mean to. I had been purposely avoiding it. The nice nurse was talking to me, and I looked her way as she was taking it out of its wrapper. I knew they were big just by the way they felt going into my arm and by the hole marks they leave behind, but wow! It was huge! I wish I hadn't seen it. I can't get the image out of my head. [It wasn't as big around as a coffee stirrer, but close.] At the same time, though, I thought, "Damn. I'm pretty tough." I've been getting those huge needles jammed in my arm without any Lidocaine, which some people use to numb the arm first. I wasn't given the option the first two times, so I didn't know what I was missing. I was told, however, that getting Lidocaine every time isn't a good thing for the fistula, so I will continue to suck it up. I will do everything I can to protect this fistula. It suffers enough getting huge needles stuck in it three days a week.
Speaking of needles . . . I also received my flu shot today. I had the pneumonia vaccine and a Procrit shot in the hospital. I used to cringe at those type of injections. They're nothing now. :) I'm getting to be a tough cookie!