Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Energize Me!

Most of the weekend (Sunday/Monday), I was really tired.  Absolutely no energy.  My labs were drawn today, and my hemoglobin is a 9.  12-16 is normal for an adult woman.  I'm receiving iron and red blood cell stimulating hormone through my treatment, but my body hasn't caught up yet.  I've been lower.  A few years ago, I had to have a blood transfusion, because I was in the 7-8 range.  I'm looking forward to the day when my level is normal again.  Maybe I'll have more energy.

I have a hard time remembering the last time I had energy.  It's difficult for high energy people (i.e., Boyfriend) to understand.  It creates some tension between us at times.  He rarely stops.  He's a little bit like a Jack Russell Terrier.  I'm more of a Bassett Hound.  He's pretty understanding.  I think I have more of a problem with it than he does.  I always wish I could do more.  I feel like a drag sometimes.  I feel lazy.  It's probably a good thing that he is so full of energy, or not much would get done.

I've always been really independent, and it's difficult to let someone do stuff for me.  It's difficult to admit that I need someone else.  I've always been the "strong one", and I feel so weak.  Needing a person, needing a machine, needing medication, needing government assistance, and oh, yeah, needing a kidney.  It's just asking someone for a body part.  No big deal, right?  Guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.  I don't have the energy to think about that right now.

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