Yesterday was a rough day. When I arrived at dialysis, someone else was in my chair. Someone at one point told me that I wouldn't be moved. Well, they had moved a lot of us, but not all of us. I know this seems silly, but it's a little disturbing when you're trying to be as comfortable as you can be in a not-so-comfortable situation. I'm not thrilled with my new spot. I'm looking directly at the nurses' station. I'm by the fire exit. I can't see many other people, and I can't see out of a window. People kept coming up and knocking on the fire exit door, thinking it was the entrance, I guess. Anyway, it was a little unnerving to be moved without warning, and then I was stuck with the bigger needles (which did hurt worse). I guess that was my limit for the day, because I started to cry.
Apparently when you cry at the dialysis center, they tell everyone. The nurse told my mom in the lobby. Then everyone who came up to work on me or talk to me tried comforting me. I was over it, and they were still trying to comfort me. :) My mom told them that we were emotional people. We are. I think I'm more comfortable with me crying than other people are. It's how I relieve stress. I didn't cry for long -- just enough to get it out. I think a lot of things were building up that needed to be released.
I was also told that I'll be getting even bigger needles next week. That will be the last size change. They've been gradually working me up to the biggest (= standard) size.
I met with the ARNP from the nephrology group, the dietitian, and the social worker. It was a little overwhelming for one day, although it made the time pass quickly. The ARNP was really encouraging and supportive. She's a breast cancer survivor, so she can relate to overcoming illness.
The worst part of yesterday was the nurse who was monitoring me. I was her captive audience for the stories of her tragic life. While I'm typically a pretty good listener and sympathetic to people's needs, I was not in the mood. I might be selfish, but I just didn't want to hear it. I don't know if "Debbie Downer" is the best nurse for me. I was more glad to leave than usual.
Hopefully, tomorrow will be better. As Scarlett O'Hara said, "Tomorrow is another day".